Dear Professor Brad,
I would like to
take this opportunity to introduce myself. My name is Chong Chee Hian, Justin. I graduated from Singapore
Polytechnic with a Diploma in Civil Engineering with Business. Currently, I am
pursuing a Degree in Civil Engineering at the Singapore Institute of Technology
(SIT).
Since young, I
have been fascinated by how superstructures are being built from a piece of
land to a high-rise. My father whom is a civil engineer would then explain to
me how a building is constructed and would also bring me to his construction
site to observe. He would also point out to buildings that he had a hand in constructing. These experiences ignited my passion for civil engineering. Therefore, I have
decided to follow my passion and pursue civil engineering.
A communication weakness that I have is that I have a tendency to stutter during conversations. This may be attributed due to my anxiety. As a result, I often find myself repeating syllables or even entire words when conversing. Despite this, I am still able to engage and enter into conversations with strangers comfortably as a result of some communication skills that I have picked up during my part-time job at a hotel.
Communication is a skill that can never be mastered. However, my goal is to perfect my own form of communication and potentially overcome my stuttering by the end of the communication module. And not to be mocked by my friends for my stuttering. Furthermore, I hope to improve my vocabulary and have an even better grasp of grammar. The above mentioned would greatly boost my confidence and communication skills.
Best
regards,
Justin
1901517
Commented on Wai Yan's and Thoufeek's letter.
Commented on Wai Yan's and Thoufeek's letter.
Dear Justin
ReplyDeleteLike you, I have been fascinated by how structures are built from a plot of land into a useful amenity, sometimes even a piece of art. This is also what led me to pursue civil engineering in hopes of being able to play a part in an iconic structure one day.
My interactions with you has led me to think that you are quite a fluent communicator. In fact, I had not noticed that you stutter up till now when you mentioned it. You must have improved significantly since you decided to do something about it, and I find that impressive.
I find your letter to be well-written in general. A suggestion would be that the sentences "However, my goal is to...end of the communication module." and "And not to be mocked by my friends for my stuttering." be combined to form "My goal at the end of the communication module is to perfect my own form of communication, as well as potentially overcome my stuttering and ending the mockery by my friends caused by it.".
Overall, I am confident that you will be able to reach your goals, and I hope to be seeing more of your writing in the future.
Best Wishes
Cen Wei
Dear Justin,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this generally fluent and informative letter. In it, you share something about the genesis of your interest in civil engineering with a clear reference to your father, you describe your comm skills experience and you review your goals for the module. I find it interesting that what could be considered simple father-son bonding sessions would lead to you finding meaning for your life.
I also appreciate the frank discussion of your comm skills weakness, and in the same paragraph you illuminate a strength (albeit with only brief reference to a previous job).
There are also a few minor issues in terms of language use in this letter:
1. word use, phrasing
-- My father whom is a civil engineer would then explain... > (wrong word form; punctuation)
My father, who is a civil engineer, would then explain
-- point out to buildings > (collocation) > ?
-- attributed due to > (collocation) > ?
2. sentence structure
-- And not to be mocked by my friends for my stuttering. > (fragment) ?
These are mostly minor issues. I appreciate the effort and look forward to reading more of your writing this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Dear Justin,
ReplyDeleteI read your introduction letter with great interest and delight. In my opinion, your letter is informative and fairly well written with the exception of some minor points.
In the 1st sentence of the 2nd paragraph, I find the word "high-rise" to be repetitive as you have already mentioned the word "superstructures". Perhaps you may wish to double check with Professor Brad on this.
In the 2nd sentence of the 2nd paragraph, as Professor Brad highlighted, it should be "My father, who is a civil engineer, would then explain..."
In the 3rd sentence of the 2nd paragraph, remove the word "to".
In the 2nd sentence of the 3rd paragraph, remove the word "due".
In the 3rd sentence of the last paragraph, I would suggest not to start a sentence with "And" as it may be sound informal. However please do check with Professor Brad on this as well.
I strongly believe that you will master the art of communication in the near future and I have not heard you stutter so far. Perhaps you have been working on your weakness(es) before this module and are making headway.
Keep it up!
Best Regards
Lim Jiang Seng